Beyond the Promotion: Writing Your Nirvana Letter

Dear Reader,

Welcome to this week’s edition of Career Catalyst. 

How many of us truly know what we want out of life? Not just in our careers, but in the grander scheme of things—our relationships, lifestyle, health, and personal fulfilment?

In this edition, I describe the simple exercise of writing your Nirvana Letter can align your career with what you want out of your life. 

What is a Nirvana Letter? Here is a true story to bring this to life.

A True Story that Happened a Few Years Ago

A friend of mine Joe was facing an unusual dilemma at work. Unlike most professionals striving for a promotion, he had two exciting leadership roles to choose from.

His family, friends, and colleagues saw this as an incredible opportunity for him. 

But Joe felt something entirely different—instead of excitement Joe felt anxiety.

Every time he thought about either promotion, a heavy feeling settled on his  chest. And what’s worse, he couldn't understand why.

The Confusion of Success

Despite the prestige, higher salary, and the respect that would come with either role, something inside him was whispering ‘no.’

And this was not the first time. Joe had already turned down two promotions in the past five years. 

At the time, Joe reported to the Managing Director for the UK. This Managing Director was growing increasingly impatient with Joe.  He was even questioning Joe's loyalty to the firm. 

Joe wasn’t ungrateful, and he certainly wasn’t disloyal. He just wasn’t sure if climbing higher was what he truly wanted.

The Bigger Questions

Joe was in his early fifties. He had spent decades building a solid career, earning well, and establishing himself professionally. But he started asking himself bigger questions:

• When do I want to stop working?
• How much money do I actually need to live the life I want?
• Will I be healthy enough to enjoy it?

These weren’t just career questions—they were life questions.

As he reflected, one realization became clear: He would rather not spend the next ten years in a high-pressure leadership role, working long hours and constantly chasing the next thing.

A Different Way to Decide: The Nirvana Letter

When we spoke on the phone, I suggested something unconventional.

I asked him to write a journal entry set in the future—called a Nirvana Letter. In this entry, he would write as if he were looking back on his life, having achieved everything he ever wanted. His career, finances, health, relationships, and personal milestones—all fully realized.

The goal? To visualize his ideal life.

• Where is he living?
• Who is around him?
• What does his daily routine look like?
• How does he feel about his work?
• What major milestones led him here?

This exercise wasn’t about career growth—it was about defining success on his terms.

The Breakthrough

A few days later, Joe told me about his Nirvana Letter. Instead of debating which promotion looked better on paper, he now had a clear vision of the life he truly wanted.

And surprisingly, he would rather not be promoted. Instead, Joe realized that what he truly wanted wasn’t a bigger title or a higher salary—it was more time.

• Time to spend with his family.
• The space to work at his pace.
• The opportunity to enjoy his home in Spain, where he could work remotely in a semi-retired fashion, sipping coffee on the terrace in the morning and walking along the beach in the evening.

A promotion would mean more responsibility, more stress, and less flexibility. It wasn’t the right trade-off for the life he wanted.

Communicating the Decision Without Burning Bridges

Once Joe had made his decision, his next challenge was how to communicate it to the Managing Director without damaging his career. He needed to emphasize that he was committed to the company, even if he wasn’t taking the promotion.

Over a coffee, we crafted his message carefully:

1. Gratitude first – Joe would start by expressing appreciation for being considered for not one, but two leadership roles. He would acknowledge the Managing Director's trust in him and recognize the opportunities being offered.
2. Clarity about his decision – Joe would explain that, after careful reflection, he realized his current role was the best fit for him at this stage of his life.
3. Commitment to the company – Instead of simply declining, Joe would offer to help find and mentor the right candidates.

Joe was nervous walking into that meeting, but he stuck to the plan.

The Managing Director was clearly disappointed—there was no way around that. But instead of frustration, there was also respect.

"Joe, I appreciate the honesty," the Managing Director said, leaning back in his chair. "Not everyone has the self-awareness to turn down a promotion for the right reasons."

Helping to Find the Right People

Rather than leaving the company in a bind, Joe stepped up differently—he agreed to help find and mentor the right people for the two roles he turned down.

He became part of the interview panels, helping to identify candidates who aligned with the company’s vision and culture. He mentored them both when they started in the roles.

This reinforced Joe's reputation as a team player and a leader in his own way. 

The Lesson for All of Us

Climbing the career ladder is important, but are the steps you’re taking leading to a better life—or just a higher title?

Success isn’t just about saying yes to opportunities—it’s about saying yes to the right ones.

Joe’s story is proof that staying where you are, can be just as powerful as moving up—if it aligns with your vision for your life.

And perhaps most importantly, it shows that turning down a promotion doesn’t have to mean turning down growth. By handling the situation with professionalism and tact, Joe maintained the Managing Director's respect and found ways to contribute without sacrificing his personal goals.

If you’re feeling stuck, maybe it’s time to write your own Nirvana Letter and find out what truly matters to you.

Thanks for reading. If you have an interesting insight feel free to share it in the comments section.

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